Setting boundaries in the music business - without justifying yourself

If you work as a freelance musician, one sentence is particularly difficult to say:
"No, that doesn't work for me."

Why? Because we have learned that opportunities are rare. That you have to be grateful. That you should always be available for gigs, collaborations, booking requests, feedback discussions, content productions and promo campaigns.

It took me a long time to understand:
Every yes to something that isn't right is a no to yourself.

And that costs. Energy, focus, self-confidence and often also the fun of music.

I remember a moment when I received a request for a music project that was objectively "good". Big stage, good money. But inside, everything inside me was screaming: "This feels wrong."

I said yes.
And three weeks later, I felt burnt out and empty.
Just because I thought I "had to".

Since then, one principle has applied to me: clarity before favor.

And that's exactly what I wish for you. Especially now, in November, just before the turn of the year, when many musicians are starting to shape their direction for 2026.

Here are three ways you can learn to set boundaries in the music business - without drama, without a guilty conscience:

1. get your time back
Not every message needs to be answered immediately.
Not every meeting is necessary.
Not every gig makes sense.
Ask yourself: "What will this do for me in the long term and what will it cost me emotionally?"
And if the answer isn't clear: give yourself 24 hours to think about it. That's not weakness, that's strategy.

2. say no with attitude, not with harshness
A no can sound soft - but be clear:
"Thank you for your request, but the project doesn't suit my direction at the moment."
You don't have to explain yourself. You can remain respectful and consistent at the same time.

3. your boundaries protect your creativity
You can't write new music if your head is full of other people's expectations.
You can't build confidence if you're always saying "yes" on the inside and slowly disappearing on the outside.

Boundaries are not selfish.
They are the foundation on which you build your career as a musician, in Germany, in the USA, on tour, in the studio, everywhere.

If you want 2026 to be your year, start now, with a small no that feels right.

Because sometimes that very "no" is the start of something really big.

Kind regards